Emerging from my cocoon

I am always surprised at the way I just walk away from writing as if it isn't the most important thing in the world to me. Maybe it isn't and I just don't care. Or maybe because in my career I edit on a daily basis it satisfies my need for words? I don't know. All I know is that I stopped writing on 2/16/08 and haven't looked back. Maybe it is time to take stock?

I have written a novel, really two novels, but the first one is my baby. I would like to send it out but it isn't ready 100% and the thought of going in and editing it terrifies me for some reason. So does sending it in. Is it because I refer to it as my baby? No one has ever said that they think my writing sucks so I am not sure what the problem is. Maybe because it is such hard work for me? It is excruciating for me to sit down and try and come up with something that I avoid it. I don't know why. But I am going to find out.

I think the key is goals. I have been on a diet and I have found, much to my surprise, that small goals really help. So here are some small goals that will ultimately lead to the big goal of sending in my book:

-I have once again picked up Dorothea Brande's book, Becoming A Writer and will finish reading it.
-I will pledge to write every day.
-I will pick two chapters, by April 30, to polish up for an agent.
-After I pick the two chapters, I will work on them individually for one month each, for a minimum of five times a week.
-I will meet back here at the end of June 08 with a progress report, although I will post regularly about my progress. I need a place to whine.

I'm determined to find out if I have anything to say or find out if it is time to go grad school and become a librarian.